The Tiny Vagina Club
Hi everyone, my name is Mora and I have a tiny vagina.
Everyone says, “Hi Mora.”
I’ve known I have a tiny vagina problem since I was about 18. Honestly, I had the problem before that but didn’t know. (Click here for the blog that talks about that in detail!)
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You may be asking yourself…
“What is the Tiny Vagina Club?”
“How do I get in?”
“Do I want to be here?”
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I’m being a little silly here, but I wanted to talk today about vaginal size because there are so many misconceptions about it.
The vagina is an organ that individuals assigned female at birth are born in possession of. Having a vagina typically means an individual is also born with a vulva, uterus, and eggs as well, but this isn’t ALWAYS the case… I digress.
If an individual is born with a vulva and vagina, the first thing to point out is that the vulva is on the outside. The vagina is the “tube” leading from outside up to the uterus. The vagina is made to stretch to accommodate entry and exit for a variety of activities. It lengthens, widens, and shortens based on the stretches and pressures put on it. The vagina at “rest” averages 3 inches, and with increased blood flow is almost 5 inches. Just like a nose, foot, or breast, vaginas come in all shapes and sizes. Have I said “vagina” enough yet?
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So how does someone have a “tiny vagina”?
- Because we’re all born in different sizes and shapes, it makes sense some of us are born with smaller than average vaginas. Actual body size does not indicate vaginal size or elasticity. Someone could be a size 2 and have a larger, more stretchy vagina, and someone could be a size 20 and have a smaller vaginal canal!
- Sometimes a vagina is surgically created. This may in the case of an individual who chose to undergo gender affirmation surgery to transition to being a female. This newly-created pocket depends on the available tissue for surgical construction, and may be “tiny” or prone to closing (aka “stenosis”).
- Sometimes a “tiny vagina” is a consequence or “side effect.” This can be the body’s reaction to things like trauma, stress, childbirth, or surgery.
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So why am I writing this post?
As a society, we’ve assigned a positive value to having a “tight” or “small” vagina. As a pelvic floor therapist and someone who has been personally victimized by my tiny vagina, I very much dislike this trend.
If you think I’m being dramatic, Google some of these very disappointing procedures meant to restore the tininess to the vagina.
“Vaginal Rejuvenation”
“The Husband Stitch”
“18 Again Shrink Cream”
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This idea that “tighter and smaller is better” is damaging. I have patients avoid doing pelvic floor therapy for issues caused by a tight pelvic floor because “having a tight vagina” is what they think is valued by prospective partners. I’m going to repeat that, I frequently meet people who would rather have pelvic pain or other issues, than not have a tight enough vagina to be pleasing to a potential partner!
A pelvic floor that is too tight, typically the real cause of a “tiny vagina,” can cause all sorts of negative things for a person. It is always helpful to assess a pelvic floor and not just guess what is going on. Very frequently, when a person is experiencing urinary frequency, urgency, phantom UTI symptoms, painful vaginal exams, painful penetration, pain with tampons, and constipation, there is some tightness and imbalance of the pelvic floor muscles.
I encourage you to review the true anatomy and purpose of the vagina and vulva. These friends are built to allow elimination of waste, engage in sexual activity, and to birth babies (if the owner chooses and is able to do so). Again, they are made to stretch to accommodate certain activities such as penetration or birth. They are made to return to their resting size when not in use. The vagina and vulva are a complex, beautiful, brilliant system of self management when in the proper balance.
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When we place value on vaginas being “small” or “tight,” we’re doing the following:
- Body shaming people who are not as “tight”
- Perpetuating harmful misconceptions
- Encouraging vagina owners to live with pelvic pain or discomfort
- Possibly promoting fat phobia with the assumption that larger people can’t have small vaginas, therefore they are “less desirable” partners
- Believing things like “a vagina can get stretched out by a large partner or you” or “vaginas will never be tight after delivering a baby”
Still have questions about a “tiny vagina” in your life? Wondering how pelvic floor therapy may be able to help it reach “functional vagina” status instead?
Reach out and I’m happy to start a conversation!
Perfectly Yours,
Dr. Mo
