Thin Doesn’t Equal Health

Here is my last Keeping It Real. Part 5: Skinny Doesn’t Equal Healthy!

People say things like “You’re the perfect size, you must be so healthy.”

Body image wise I haven’t always loved my body. It’s one of those “you always want what you don’t have.” I was a skinny, gangly child turning into an athletically built teenager with curves few and far between. My favorite body was my postpartum nursing body, which had big boobs, nice hips and a belly that felt small in comparison. But we don’t get to stay like Betty Boop forever and that ship has sailed. 

I’m a size 6-8 depending on my exercise and eating habits with a fair BMI and muscle tone. However, I weigh a lot for a person my size and am a “solid” woman if you try to move me. People look at me and assume I weigh “like a hundred pounds” and I have to laugh. Add another 50# and you’ll be getting closer! Weight and health don’t always correlate though and I do my best to make healthy choices when I can. 

Internally, my thyroid is a mess, my cholesterol could be better despite me eating well most of the timeand Epstein Barr likes to f my -ish up if I didn’t have enough going on. I’m frequently anemic, and can never get my vitamin B and D to do what they’re supposed to. I’m never sure if gluten is my friend or enemy or just a scapegoat to my not feeling quite right.   

“You have so much energy.”

Funnily, enough I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And yes, that diagnosis annoys me too and feels made up. But getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle. I go to bed early enough to give myself enough time to sleep 8 hours on weekdays and 10 hours on the weekend and I could still take a 3 hour nap if allowed. But I push through, every day, because #life. And I manage it well, finding good stress and responsibilities keeps me moving forward and motivated which is why it SEEMS like I’m the energizer bunny. A lot of times I’m mentally heaving myself up to get moving.  

Still, there are times, where it is such a struggle to get out of bed, I debate calling out of work, but don’t because that would be even more effort. Sometimes it feels like I’m wading through Jello, one impossible step at a time. Some days, I skip dessert because I literally can’t find the energy to get up and get one. The list goes on.

Long story short, in my mind, I’m ready to go, but sometimes my body disagrees!

Perfectly Yours,

Mora