How Do I Potty Train My Child?

So you’ve read my previous post and your child is ready to potty train. Now you’re looking for some advice on how to actually start the process.

Potty training can be a stressful and difficult time of growth for you and your child. It is one of the first steps away from toddlerhood to big kid status, which can be hard for both you and your child. Take your time, have fun, reward your child and yourself for the successes and let the failures go. There are bound to be accidents, whether of the pee/poop kind or the loosing your patience kind. There are a million different techniques and potty training programs out there.

Ultimately you’ll have to pick what works for your child and your family, but here are some ideas to get you rolling.

The Prep:

1. Pick a Pee-Day. Select a period of 3+ days that you can dedicate to laying the foundation of potty training. Keep in mind, at the end of this period, your child will most likely not be 100% accident free. This is just a time for your child to learn the basics.
2. Take a shopping trip with your child. Pick out 7 – 12 pairs of undies your child loves. Pick out a children’s potty seat your child is excited about and a step stool for their feet to rest on while trying to go to the bathroom and to use for hand washing. Lastly, pick small rewards that your child likes: m&ms, stickers, jelly beans, skittles, special cereal, etc.
3. Prepare your kid. Read them books and watch movies with them about potty training. Set up their potty area. Bring them to the bathroom with you when you go and explain to them what is happening. Show them their big kid undies and the rewards they can earn for trying to use the toilet. The night before Pee-Day explain what tomorrow will bring.
4. Create a reward system for your household. Example: 1 m&m to try, 2 after a pee on the potty, 3 after pee and poop on the potty.

Pee-Day 

1. When your child wakes up that morning, take them to the bathroom, and put them on the potty. They should be on their child sized seat with a stool supporting their feet so they are in a seated semi-squat position. Have them do a “potty trial” for 5 – 10 minutes. Feel free to read books, sing songs, listen to music or blow bubbles to pass the time. We do not recommend screen time here unless it is an absolute last resort as a child distracted by screen time will be less likely to feel themselves voiding.  Reward them for trying and even more so if they are able to eliminate. Then put on a pair of their new undies and give them a drink to finish at that time.
2. Set a timer of some sort. It can be using an app for potty training (there are tons of free ones), your phone, a watch or a kitchen timer. It just needs to be something your child can hear. Set it for every hour. When it goes off, remind your child it is time to try to go to the bathroom. 
3. When the timer goes off, if your child signals they have to go, or if your child begins to go repeat the process from step one. Get to the bathroom quickly, sit on the kid size potty set up, relax and pass time for 5 – 10 minutes (trial can end sooner if child voids) and rewarding afterward, regardless of the outcome. Give your child a drink immediately after the potty trial. Reset the timer and repeat throughout the day. 
4. Be vigilant: during the first few days of potty training, your child is working hard to learn what the urge to void feels like. You can help them by watching them for cues and if they start to go, letting them know it is happening and getting them to the bathroom. 
5. When an accident occurs: take the child to the bathroom after an accident and have them do a potty trial. Reset the timer, give them a drink, have them help change undies and clothes and to clean up any mess they made. Be matter of fact and kind in when an accident occurs. “Oh no, your bladder leaked. Let’s go make sure it is empty. Then we’ll get things clean and dry and we’ll try to go to the bathroom sooner next time” 
6. If your child still naps, decide whether you want big kid undies or to allow a pull up during nap time. If you are doing big kid undies, protect the mattress accordingly. If a child voids prior to napping, they can usually learn to hold their bladder during a 1 – 2 hour nap. If you chose pull ups, switch the child to these for nap after a potty trial.
7. At bedtime, decide whether you want big kid undies or a pull up during the night. Big kid undies at night are most appropriate for those children who have been having dry diapers most mornings. If your child typically wakes up in a soaked diaper, start with pull ups. Switch the child to these for bed after a potty trial.
8. Continue this process for the next few days. You may find your child has a schedule for voiding and you can start to rely less on the timer and more on this schedule. You may find your child is great at letting you know when they need to go and you can ditch the timer then too. Some kids still need that external input but it could be spaced out to every 1.5 to 2 hours. 

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Again, reward all successes on the potty like it is the best thing your kid has ever done. Don’t be afraid to enlist friends and family to help you. Let everyone know how your big kid is learning to use the toilet and may need reminders to go and extra cheerleading.

Make sure your child is hydrated in intervals. Giving them a 4 – 6 ounce drink after every void and timing potty trials after meals will help with success as they will learn to feel what a full bladder feels like. This will also help avoid constipation. Monitor your child for holding of urine or stool.

Be consistent and stick to your plan, even when your child realizes this is hard work and they’d prefer their diaper back. This is common but with praise and the reward system it is easy to work through. 

This system is nice because it can be adjusted according to your household. Usually by day 3, children have a general understanding and this progress can be continued. You have a set up routine that can be continued even if your child has to go to a babysitter, daycare or school. You can bring their potty seat and step stool with you when you travel so they get used to new or public restrooms.

An honest note from the Practically Perfect PT….my daughter woke up at 25 months old demanding big girl undies and insisting she was potty trained as she literally pooped in her pants in front of me. Not being a pelvic health specialist at the time, I ignored my mom instincts, took a week off from work and we did the potty training thing. We were successful, but it was not the best week for anyone involved. Looking back she was a little too young and we battled issues with constipation, post void dribbling and bed wetting for many years after. So my advice is to trust your instincts and only tackle this if you and your child are really ready.