Guest Blog: The Mommy’s Mind on her Infertility Journey
Today, we are joined by Diana Gleason for a glimpse into one momma’s struggle to become a mother.
Diana Gleason is a wife, infertility warrior and mom of twins! Former professional dancer turned accounting professional by day and maternal mental health advocate always. She currently serves as president of South Jersey Mothers of Multiples, a support group encompassing 140 women in southern New Jersey who mother twins, triplets or more.
Diana writes:
“I received my infertility diagnosis at age of 24…
How It Started: I went to see my OBGYN for an annual routine exam and I told her that I had been experiencing some weird symptoms recently. My periods were kind of non-existent and I had frequent urinary tract infections that the urologist chalked up to another problem called Interstitial Cystitis (a diagnosis that basically is- we don’t know why this is happening.) I am forever grateful to this doctor because she didn’t just brush me off. She wanted me to take a break from my birth control pills to see what my body would do naturally without them, and she ran some labs to take a closer look at my hormones. When I stopped taking my birth control, I completely stopped getting any periods. My bloodwork also showed some inconsistencies for my age- so my OBGYN referred me out to a reproductive and hormonal disease specialist.
The Diagnosis: So, she sent me to see an infertility doctor! What!?! At the time I was feeling a bit young for this visit- and then immediately started to worry that something could be wrong with me and I would never have children. I had a consult with the doctor who told me my bloodwork was consistent with something called PCOS: Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I had an ultrasound in his office which confirmed the diagnosis. He explained to me that PCOS was a common hormonal disorder caused by an imbalance of reproductive hormones. The hormonal imbalance creates problems in the ovaries. With PCOS, eggs may not develop as they should or be released during ovulation. PCOS causes irregular periods, inability to get pregnant and the development of cysts in the ovaries. PCOS if one of the most common causes of infertility in women. The doctor informed me that when I was ready to get pregnant to NOT try on my own- as I would not be successful and would need medical intervention. He did say that women with PCOS generally produce good eggs and a lot of them- and with treatment I should be able to get pregnant and have children. The good news was that all I needed to do right then was go back on birth control pills to keep my cycle regular and the development of cysts low.
Fast Forward: I am now married and 30 years old- ready to start a family with my husband. I return to the same practice (new doctor) Dr. Cohen- who was and is the absolute best! Dr. Cohen told us this should be a pretty easy process. She started by putting me on a medication called Clomid. This medication was taken orally in the beginning of your cycle to help stimulate hormones that support the growth of eggs. The office would track my hormone levels by blood tests and watch the follicle’s which are what turn into released eggs via ultrasound. When the follicle was large enough, they would instruct me on the exact day and time to inject myself with a trigger shot that would release the egg from my ovary. This was then followed up with specific instructions on when to ” have relations with my husband” in hopes to time things just right to conceive. So much for getting drunk- having fun- and making a baby- right?
The next super weird test I had to have occurred the afternoon after we were instructed to have “relations.” It was SO funny to us that the doctor’s office referred to having sex as relations! This test was called a post coital test. The doctor would take a sample from my cervical fluid to make sure the sperm were alive and well. ROAD BLOCK- I killed all of my husband’s sperm. We were no longer candidates to conceive without MORE help. Round One- I was not pregnant. In fact, I was a sperm killing machine.
At this point in the road my husband, Matt, and I needed more intervention. Testing had shown he had super sperm and my body needed some help from the docs to conceive. We were now presented with Inter Uterine Insemination (IUI)
Most refer to this as the turkey baster- haha! So, I would go through the same beginning process- clomid to help with ovulation, blood tests and ultrasounds every few days, a trigger shot to make the eggs release. On insemination day- Matt would deliver his swimmers to the lab- they would spin them to get the best batch- and a few hours later I would go in and with a catheter the doctor would insert the sperm directly into my uterus. Done! Seems easy- right?
Now you wait- the dreaded 2 week wait to see if you have become pregnant. Through these two weeks I was taking extra progesterone and given an injection of Lupron into my belly to help with implantation. Two weeks after IUI day- I go to the office to have blood work to confirm if the procedure worked and I was pregnant.
I will spare you the trials and tribulations of how many rounds of this I had to go through before it actually worked. BUT- it DID eventually work, and I did get pregnant, and am now a mom to twin five-year-old boys. Very fortunately I did not have to ever have IVF – In Vitro Fertilization- But many couples do turn to this if too many IUI attempts fail.
Being a mom is everything I dreamed it would be. I have the family I always hoped for. But one thing I want to mention and be sensitive to is that infertility is not an easy journey. It comes with many hard days, thoughts that you may never conceive on your own, some form of post traumatic stress- and for most- loss before joy. It becomes a part of your story that lives deep inside of you, even after it is over. So, if you are on an infertility journey right now- remember it is a journey. You will get through this like any other hard time in your life. Below are a few tips from me to you to help you through:
- Go in Instagram and search the following hashtags: #ttc (trying to conceive) #infertility #infertilitywarrior #iui #ivf. There are SO many women across the world sharing their experiences and I promise you will find peace in knowing you are not struggling alone.
- Find a therapist you feel comfortable talking to. Sharing your feelings, anxiety, and stress around this journey with a professional is key. A therapist will give you coping skills to deal with ALL the things that surround infertility.
- Talk about it. If it is just with your partner or good friend. Don’t keep your feelings to yourself for they only fester into anxiety and depression. You need support from the ones you love as you navigate through these choppy waters.
As a fellow infertility warrior, I am rooting for you. You have got this- even on the worst of days. One of my favorite quotes is “On particularly rough days, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days is 100%- and that’s pretty good.” One foot in front of another- one day at a time- you will get through- and you will be OK.
Diana
To learn more about my infertility journey check out my blog at www.themommysmind.com and on Instagram @the_mommys_mind. “
